The Sims 2: Pirate Life
by Lurelee
Summary: [AU, Crossover] Robbed of their memories, abilities and friendship, the Mugiwara Pirates are forced to build up their lifestyle from scratch.
1. It's a pirate's life for me right?

Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece or The Sims 2 and I'm certainly not making any profit of this.

a/n: … What?

Chapter one. It's a pirates life for me... right?

It was, as always, a beautiful day in the outskirts of Sim City. The clouds were, although not visible, the whitest shade of white, and the sky, this hidden from our view as well, the light bluest shade of light blue. Everything was… perfect.

A very unlikely place for our ocean-loving Mugiwara Pirates. Never the less, there they were, with a street behind them, a mail box and trash can to their left or right and a big, perfectly green field in front of them.

Luffy, the captain of captains, moved a bit, looked around and was just about to comment on the scenery when suddenly, the game paused.

When the game started again, there was a roomy, one story house in front of them on the field. It was blue with white corners and the roof was black. There were several trees and a few flowers in front of the house. The player had obviously used the motherlode cheat.

The crew's first reaction was, using a shortening in an attempt to keep this rated T, WTF? Luffy and Usopp stared, Usopp missing their trusty boat Going Merry and Luffy thinking the house was awesome. Zoro stared as well, but not on the house and not because he missed Going Merry. He stared because he saw a spot under one of the trees. It was shadowed and the grass underneath looked so fluffy and soft.

It was almost heaven. Not that he showed that in any way.

Sanji, who hadn't been too confused about their whereabouts ("I'm okay as long as I'm with Nami-swan and Robin-chwan!") had taken the first step and peeked into the house. There it was. The kitchen of his dreams. As if Nami and Robin had just suggested a threesome, he happily strolled about in the kitchen in temporary bliss, forgetting all about One Piece and All Blue.

Nami and Robin, on the other hand, had both stumbled across a library. Books about everything could be found, navigation, treasures, archaeology and history. All could be found, for the bookcases in _The Sims 2™_ aren't very specific.

Meanwhile, Luffy had noticed a man he didn't recognise. The man had brown, shaggy hair and brown eyes. His facial features were, quite frankly, handsome. He was the same length as all other males, wearing a blue shirt and grey pants.

"Who the hell are you?" Luffy asked, counting his crew in his head. Usopp, Zoro, Sanji, Nami, Robin… who was missing?

"What? Luffy, you don't recognise me? I'm Tony Tony Chopper" As if he's just been deeply insulted, a deep red blush spread in his face.

"Eh? Chopper? Are you sure? You don't look like yourself at all!" Luffy exclaimed. This was too much for him, and he was starting to get hungry.

"I don't?" The blush was immediately replaced by a sickingly pale colour as Chopper looked down at his hooves and found… hands. And they weren't hairy at all! "GAAH!" He screamed and waved his arms in the air in front of himself furiously, as if the hands would fall off and reveal his hooves again. He ran into the house in search for a mirror.

Luffy stared after him and shrugged. He'd rather not deal with the hysterical Chopper _at all_. Instead he decided to look around. Maybe he'd find something interesting?

In the kitchen, a startled looking Sanji just realised that he _cannot cook!_ Le gasp!

"What's this?" He exclaimed dramatically, obviously not knowing that all Sims start with zero skills. The pie menu with his head in the middle only had three options: Instant meal, cereal and Toaster pastries. "I cannot cook!" Sanji exclaimed again.

"What are you doing?" Usopp asked the crying cook as he came through the front door.

"I cannot coooook!" The cook explained, gripping Usopp by the collar and shaking him back and forth.

"Why don't you just… read a book about cooking?" The sharpshooter asked with one finger in the air. Sanji stopped shaking Usopp around and stared at him.

"Why would I do that?"

"Well, it is common knowledge that all new Sims must build up their skills by doing things associated to that skill. If you, for example, want better physique, you have to train or do things that'll make you sweat."

Sanji looked at him in awe, and so did Luffy who for some reason was there. "That's awesome Usopp! How do you know so much?" Luffy asked.

And so, Usopp explained _why_ exactly he knows so much about The Sims 2™. The readers, however, will not find out for it is not important… or is it?

Meanwhile, Nami had gotten tired of reading because her bladder was low. Robin, however, could continue reading forever. Reading made all her stats go up.

Tiptoeing down the hallway, Nami opened every door she passed, tying to find the bathroom. The first room had two beds, a laptop, a lamp and a few posters and paintings on the walls. Behind the second door was the kitchen, where Sanji, Usopp and Luffy were discussing skills. The third room had five beds in it, and nothing else because there was no more room.

Then, finally, in the far end, a bathroom fit for a queen was. It was big, spacious and with light blue details. Giving a squeal of happiness, she sat down on the toilet without pulling up her shirt. A censor covered half of her body, surprising her somewhat.

"What the f-"

The f-word, whatever it might be, was interrupted, though, because Chopper came running in. He ran straight to the mirror and stared at himself for a long time before he noticed Nami's death glares.

"Oh, hello Nami! Why are you censored?" He asked, giving her a smile, temporarily forgetting his own problem.

Nami narrowed her eyes. "Get. Out." She hissed dangerously.

Slowly, Chopper backed out of the bathroom.

a/n: I'll stop here… can't say I really like playing the sims 2 becauseit fucks up my computer but I hope you enjoyed this chapter… if not, you can always flame me. That will make me sad though, so please don't. Pleaseexcuse any spelling and/or grammar errors I might have missed.

Yeah and the survival of this fic kind of depends on your opinions. I won't say "I won't update unless I get 5 or more reviews", but I can't see the point of writing a fic and putting it on FF (dot) net if nobody reads it. If that's how it is, I might as well just write it for myself. In Swedish.


	2. Friends are necessary for your career ri

**Chapter two: Friends are necessary for your career… right?**

_In which the neighbours visit, Luffy questions his existence, Zoro considers his sexual preference (or so I say), Usopp lies and Nami realises they have no money._

a/n: Don't you just love previews? I do. Anyway, please enjoy this chapter!

It was about 10 o'clock when the doorbell rang. A loud, sharp sound that everybody took notice of but didn't bother answering, because they were all busy with different things.

Nami was, once again, back in the library with Robin, reading as if there was no tomorrow. When the doorbell rang again, Robin glanced at Nami.

"I wonder who that can be." She said rather than asked. Nami shrugged.

"One of those idiots with open, don't worry."

But the idiots had no intention of opening the door, because they were all doing something very, very important. Luffy, for example, was talking to Chopper about Chopper's new look whilst Chopper was doing the same. Sanji was engaged in a TV show on the yummy channel that taught him how to cook and he could _not look up from it_ in fear of _missing something important._

Usopp was having fun exploring the house. He'd recently found a thing that didn't look like, but still was a computer. He'd also discovered the joys of _The Sims 2_. it was all very… captivating.

Zoro was out back, resting on the patch of heaven that was described in the previous chapter. He had seen the visitors coming, watched them as they rang on the doorbell and had been observing them walking around impatiently, waiting for the door to open. And not only that, he was closest to the door.

But did he bother to get his lazy ass off the grass and greet them? No.

After the fifth ring, Nami snapped. She closed the book as violently you can when you're closing a book and stood up. She walked out of the library, which also had a computer, a TV, a couch and a bunch of other things you usually have in a living room, and roared.

"**Will someone answer the goddamn door?"** She roared. Everybody, even the calm, collected and not to mention terribly strong Robin jumped. In a matter of seconds, they were all at the front door, letting their neighbours in: a blonde woman in a sexy outfit, a redhead with glasses and, apparently, her husband – a dark fellow with sunglasses.

"Hello neighbours!" Luffy greeted as he shook the dark man's hand politely. Not that he meant to do it; it just came as an impulse. After the handshake, he looked at his hand strangely, wondering why he did something so out of character.

It turned out the dark man, Terry Walker, and his wife, Anna Walker, hadn't been living in the neighbourhood long, and that they had two small children. Curiously, they wondered about the Mugiwara's relations to each other.

"Well," Luffy said enthusiastically, "I met with Zoro first – that's the green haired guy over there-" he pointed to Zoro and the Walkers nodded "you see, I had just come to this island…" but here, our dear captain trailed off. When was he on an island…? As far as he could remember, he'd been born on the lot… it was his very first memory. Maybe what he thought was reality was just a dream?

"What about the island?" Mrs Walker asked pleasantly, reaching over and touching Luffy's arm.

Luffy looked up at her, "I… I don't know…" Put down, the captain sulked off to an armchair, missing his dear goat head back at the Going Merry.

Meanwhile, Zoro was being attacked by the other lady in the sexy outfit.

"Hello there sexy!" She said seductively and licked her lips. "What's your name?"

Zoro narrowed his eyes and stared at the shameless woman without bothering to answer her.

"My name's Tyra Smith…" The woman said, thinking Zoro was just being shy. "What's yours?"

"Err… I'm not…"

"Just tell me your name handsome!" Tyra Smith said through her teeth, starting to feel embarrassed for the poor swordsman.

"It's euh…-" Zoro backed away a few steps and tripped over Sanji who, for some reason, was kneeling on the floor behind him.

"Hey, watch it marimo!" He said, standing up quickly as he laid eyes on the beautiful bombshell. "Well hello there!" Sanji's visible eye was in "big, pink and heart-shaped" mode.

"Hi." Tyra said coldly, barely looking at Sanji. Instead, she kneeled down next to Zoro, hugging him. "Oh poor baby!" She said with a baby voice as she patted Zoro's head.

It was a good thing those katanas on Zoro's waist were just for decoration.

"Get… get off me!" Zoro growled and pushed her off. But Tyra seemed to be a super strong woman. Could she be…? Wonder Woman? Nah…

"Dammit…" Zoro cursed under his breath. For some reason he wasn't strong anymore. Tyra began to make weird noises that, although it's out of character for Zoro, scared him. Desperately, he looked around for someone who could help him.

Nami? No, she'd just stand there and laugh at him. Usopp? Too weak. Chopper? He hadn't gotten used to his body yet. Sanji? Zoro didn't even want Sanji's help. Robin? Where was she anyways? The library? She'd never hear him. Luffy? … Yes! Luffy!

"Luffy!" Zoro cried. Luffy immediately perked up from his spot in the armchair.

"What?" He cried back.

"Help me!"

"With what?"

"Get this woman off me!"

"Why don't you do it yourself?"

"I can't! Just help me! Now!"

And without another word, Luffy walked over to Zoro casually, as if he wasn't about to completely smite the poor woman. And he wasn't.

"Excuse me." He said, tapping Tyra lightly on her shoulder. She acknowledged him by turning to face him.

"I'm going to have to ask you to leave-"

"What? She's never going to listen to that!" Zoro screamed in the background.

"-and while you're at it, please bring the rest of the visitors." Luffy continued, completely ignoring Zoro.

"…" Tyra looked at Luffy for a moment before she stood and reached for his hand. "Okay." Then she turned to Zoro. "I'll see _you_ later." And so she winked before she, along with Mr and Mrs Walker, decided to leave.

Some time later that day, let's say around four, Sanji was ready to prepare dinner when, God help them; the refrigerator just wouldn't let him take the food out.

He frowned and tried again.

Nothing.

He tried a couple more times, Luffy running around in circles behind him screaming "food, food" not helping him keep his calm at all. Finally, he got fed up and kicked Luffy. Hard.

Tears threatened to come out of Luffy's eyes, but he stood tall, as a man, and yelled "Sanji! Why the hell did you do that for?"

"Look. For some reason I can't get the food out of the refrigerator, and you running around like a fucking idiot aren't helping! So just… shut up!"

Luffy didn't say another word. But Nami did. "What the hell! I wanted to call a cab to get into town and buy some new clothes and this _jerk_ tells me I don't have enough money! Me, who single-handedly raised 98 million berries! How _dare_ he?" She ranted as she walked into the room, her arms violently hitting anything that came in their way. Yes, Luffy's head. Poor Luffy.

"I believe _I_ have the answer to that question, milady." Usopp said as he, too, entered the room. "You see, while I was carefully exploring the unexplored region of Lebeuma, I stumbled across a-" But Usopp's tale of mystery was rudely cut off by Nami, who was already irritated.

"Get to the point, Usopp!"

He frowned. "Why won't you listen to my story first?"

"Because it's a lie."

"This is a smart one." Usopp muttered to himself before he took a breath and got to the point. "Basically… berries won't work here. We have to use _dollars_."

"Say_ what_ now?" The absolute rage in Nami's voice caused Usopp to take a step back. Never the less, he stood tall and his voice only trembled a little as he repeated his statement.

"B-berries won't work here."

"This can't be happening! How can I live without the finer things in life? _Without money?"_ Nami roared, the faintest hint of desperation in her voice. But she quickly regained her sanity. "How do you get dollars?" She asked.

"You… you work for it."

And with that, the fate of the Mugiwara pirates had been settled. They were all going to get _jobs._

a/n: Sorry I haven't updated… I was in Ireland. Anyway, please read and review. This chapter is dedicated to Unko-dono-sama, because I love her. (Even though I didn't use the word "smexy" xD)

Please excuse any grammar or spelling errors I might have missed.


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